We are so unfortunate. If you are reading this blog, chances are you are living in a first world country as you have access to an electronic device and some wifi. If you ARE living in a first world country then you can probably relate to a lot of these terrible conditions we all have to face day after day. Hope is not lost though because if we all band together we can all over come these difficult times and make first world problems, a thing of the past.
10. Sexist Traffic Lights
Don’t you just hate it when you’re a female and you wanna cross the road and can’t, because the traffic light features a crossing “man” rather than a woman? Well fear no more because this first world problem is about to come to an end, with Melbourne featuring more and more women traffic lights at its busiest crossings women can finally cross the road!!! But the light says you gotta wear a dress to qualify as a woman because, after all that is how you tell the difference between men and women. Sexist traffic lights that only feature men will soon become a thing of the past. Thank god.
9. Not Owning the Cell Phone You Want
Now we can all relate to this tragedy. When the phone we own becomes 2 weeks out of date because this new phone has just hit the shelves that can do everything your phone can do, but apparently is somewhat “better”. Then you’re playing crossy road on the toilet and you drop it in the bowl, and you have to fish it out again eeewww yuk!! making some of the icon’s appear fuzzy. Then the screen gets a scratch on it becasue your cat thought it was a fun toy, then to top it all off you try to carry all the grocries inside all at once AND read this blog off your phone at the same time and you drop your cell phone on the tiles, causing the corners to fall off and the home button to fall out. Yep, it’s definitely time you got a new phone now. You just have to save up for a few months and skip the Melbourne show this year. Ah man.
8. Silver Coin Overflow
We all hate it when we have “too much” money. What do you do with all those excess coins? You find them on your floor, in your draws, the top of the fridge, under the couch and under mats in your car. There is just no room to put them all. And you certainly can’t put them in your wallet to do your shopping, as they are so bulky and won’t all fit. So, you try burning them, shredding them and burying them. But have no fear, ever since forever ago, we have had this thing called the money box! or, “piggy bank.” A place where you CAN store all those excess coins and then when it’s full, you can take your coins to a real bank. But this is where it gets good, you see once all that currency is in your back account, you can go shopping for that new phone you want that came out 2 weeks ago!
7. Muffin tops
We all tend to stress these days about the buldge of fat on out stomachs, the thighs rubbing together, floppy arms and tit size. And the skinnier people tend to be much more concerned about this body image stuff than the fatties. The thinner you are when you begin your diet and exercise plan, the more concerned you are. The fatso’s that weigh over 100kg don’t seem to be all that worried, they just sit in the fast food restaurant and try to eat 8 burgers in 4 minutes. I mean I’m sure at least SOME of the overweight population are worried, but very few of those whom are “worried” actually do something about it. Anyways when it comes to healthy people who are trying to loose weight they don’t need to loose, they drink runny green smoothies, snack on lettuce and carrots, avoid white foods, take all these weight loss pills, jog around the block 12 times a day and consume weight loss shakes & bars. They are trying to be “skinny” as thin is in. Some are naturally born thin whilst others are just naturally a little more round, (but still healthy) and those people are the people that have to work for it! Then there are people out there who are trying to say that it’s ok not to be thin, it’s ok to be who you are! Such as Meghan Trainor, who are all trying to re-define beauty! Then there are people who are getting the wrong idea and being like: “What!? are you skinny shaming me?!” which makes everyone roll their eyes as we go around in a big circle. A classic first world problem. What size is acceptable? In my opinion, any size that is healthy is acceptable. Fat or thin.
6. A Friend of Yours Adding Another Friend of Yours on Social Media
For some reason people get so worked up over this issue that I just find stupid. It’s when ‘B’ has two friend. ‘A’ and ‘C’. So A and C have a mutual friend named B. Then, A adds C and C accepts. Now all three of them are connected. B gets annoyed at A for adding his friend C. B gets very angry and thinks it’s the biggest deal in the world if one of his friends add another of his friends. In reality, it is actually up to the two people doing the adding and it’s not the third persons concern. The mutual friend shouldn’t have a say in it. People can befriend who they want. B was not in charge of his friends decisions. Once again, another classic first world problem.
5. Saving Souls
Something we all worry about a little too often is spreading the word, the word of Christ. Making sure we can save the souls of everyone and prevent anyone from going to hell. We must hand out brochures, make posters and signs, wave our beliefs out on the streets and even get out the old microphone. We like to make sure everyone doing their grocery shopping, walking their dog or going on a stroll with their baby in a pram has our beliefs rubbed in their face. Our number one priority is to make sure that everyone gets into heaven. If you don’t go to confession and eat crackers and drink wine, hell awaits you. After all, that’s what being a good person is all about.
Some of us have a reasonable move when it comes to avoiding gluten, as many of us are sensitive to gluten or wheat. Coeliac disease is serious. But out of all the people who go gluten free only 10% have a gluten related disorder and get sick from it. The other 90% just do it because they think it will make them ‘feel’ better and ‘do’ better, or they just do it to be part of a trend or the fad even though their bodies are actually perfectly fine with gluten, and gluten does no harm to them. Another first world problem is gluten. Many of us are scared of a wheat protein and will go to extreme efforts to find gluten free bread, doughnuts, pancakes, pasta, spaghetti, noodles, macaroni, pastry, cakes, biscuits and scones. I wish I could eat gluten. It would make life so much easier. I don’t understand why anyone would CHOOSE a food to avoid that they were not intolerant to.
Ever heard of the “free the nipple” campaign? Where they want women as well as men to be allowed by law to be topless in public? I don’t mean never wear a shirt, I mean all those times you may see a topless man in public, you should also be equally allowed to have a topless lady. Such as the beach, the pool, spa, lake, in the local streets on a hot day, you get the idea. Whilst a lot of third world countries allow this, first world countries don’t. I am all for it as I don’t see the problem. I for one have this bikini that I wear to the pool/spa that is joined with the gym I go to. After a work out I sit in the spa. let me just say that the bikini top does absolutely nothing for support. It does not support “them” it just hides them. It is so frustrating trying to pull it up and make sure they don’t fall out and checking it all the time while the men in the spa are not required to hide their nipples. I always wanna just rip the whole thing off and get everyone else who has a problem to leave. As much as I hate feminism, I AM for freeing the nipple. As I hate having to wear a bikini top that costs a million dollars because I’m “not allowed” to go shirtless. Yeah. So boobies and their viability is definitely another classic first world problem.
2. 2 Kids One Room
I, am amongst the many kids that has to share my bedroom with a sibling. Or at least until I move out. You argue constantly about your living conditions. “Do we sleep with the door open or closed?” “What music do we put on?” “Can you turn your lamp off? I’m trying to sleep!” Etc etc. It’s annoying, and much more peaceful to have your own space.
However fear not! The solution is just to simply ‘talk’ about these things and come to a “room agreement” even if you have to bring in a third party such as a parent who is on neither ones side and helps to lead the discussion. This problem is nothing though compared to third world countries. They usually have 3-5 people in the one single bed! And in the holocaust they had about 10 people per bed. So I for one do not complain about this as we may share a room, but I get my own bed at least. Besides, having a bit of company and someone to talk to while you get dressed and do some colouring on the floor is always nice.
Don’t we all worry about footwear from time to time? What about when your mum goes to buy you some school shoes for the new year, and she comes home with the wrong model? What then? It’s total chaos! You are going to look like a dork all year as your friends all agreed to go buy the same model. Well, at least you get to go to school at all. At least you are getting an education. Footwear there doesn’t matter. What about when you get those brand new sparkly heals, those light up sneakers, the runners with the extra spring in the heel for when you play sport or even the shoes that roll? It’s great isn’t it? Just great. But then they wear out ever so quickly. Your once brand new treasure you saved up for over 13 months has fallen apart at the seams after only 3 weeks. So you have to resort to making yourself a pair of flip flops out of coke bottles.